This is raw data about on the funniest due diligence stories to date! How times have changed from flying to law firms data room to getting information raw from internet and texting during a pitch. OMG the art of pitch has changed with access to raw facts and experts at your finger tips. Sorry if you feel this is not funny, however, you know what is say:
“Say Provocative statements that intelligent people argue about fast without dotting your i’s and crossing your t’s. As life is all about fun and results!” OMG it was such a day!
SETTING THE STAGE
I attended a pitch session of 6 early stage deals each with their strengths and weaknesses. Some deals where good, but one took the stage by storm. A GMO free food delivery companies seem like it could get traction and then be acquired by Amazon. Gluten free could also be great, but scary if they ever failed.
#1 The founder was only interested in IPO as they where going to be big!
#2 The founder provided investors to date, but the market value was only 50% of the money raise (i.e. bragging about investor that lost 50% value never is a good thing to attract more investors).
#3 He did introduce himself to all investor prior to the event and he did speak clearly starting with great energy.
#4 Claimed he was going to offer lowest price and people would be loyal to his company.
THE LIVE INTERNET DUE DILIGENCE
The guy sitting next to me owned a company that provided supplies to his company!
#1 My simple search found most products on Amazon where lower and could be delivered faster within 4-12 hours (his response was GMO people wanted order from true play company and not big bad wolf (ok one day Amazon going have same issues as Walmart).
#2 They guy next to me told me he was even higher than local grocery stories (these are high price store in CA). OMG please check your local market as I have visited tons stores and other craft brewing companies for my beer deals!
THE BEST / OMG DUE DILIGENCE
They guy next to me come to the same conclusion that something was not right. Lots of holes and growing smell. He texted one of his employees.
OMG! He got text back that he company did not pay its bills and they had written off the debt. We just turned red and tried our best not laugh to loud!
Ok you had to be at the event!
BOTTOM LINE
Bottom line is people have access to raw data and gone are the days when great salesman can sell you the shirt off your back! Well I hate to say a great salesman can still get most people to buy the shirt off their back. However, they need make sure basic internet searches will not kill their story!
NEVER ENDING STORIES
I would enjoy hearing others great stories.
Here is my fast “yes man” OMG Story in hopes making you laugh! The #1 coach in an industry (ok that statement is always a red flag) and his yes men & fans. During a mega sales event with thousand clients and possible customers, he though he coined the term “shirt burrito.” He even ask his staff to grab the domain. What a great name to talk about rolling all problems into a burrito! Well somebody need to let him know it was already coined and defined in Urban Dictionary (never a good thing). At the time it was Urban Dictionary was #1 in Google search.
SECOND TRY BOTTOM LINE
The bad news is you need to Google everything that might be google during your pitch. The good news is with time you can fix 1st page of Google if needed.
HAPPY INVESTING (& SORRY IF NEEDED),
JD
P.S. Watch some video of HBO’s Silicon Valley as lot of it is true and very funny!
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